Friday, November 22, 2013

10 WAYS TO KNOW YOUR WOMAN IS A KEEPER


·  · in Dating & Relationships. ·


We’ve all heard “oh, there are plenty of fish in the sea” when it comes to dating. But, when was the last time you walked into someone’s house to find hundreds of tiny minnows proudly hung along their mantle?
No. You want the catch. You want the one you couldn’t possibly let go. The one you’d do anything to reel in.
So, how do you know you’ve found a keeper? Here are 10 signs to look out for.
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She doesn’t look for attention.
The women who don’t look for attention, are precisely the women we should be giving our attention to. Girls who are always looking for compliments or to be noticed, are often insecure and looking to overcompensate. What’s more – is that they’re likely more concerned about their own happiness, than they would be about yours.
Women who are content with their own self confidence and don’t look elsewhere for validation, shine from within and will add to your life. The last thing you need is to be a placeholder for a girl who is just seeking something anyone else can give her. This doesn’t provide any sort of foundation for a solid relationship.
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She can hold a conversation.
Believe me - I know how important physical attraction is to a relationship. But, believe me when I say that I also know that it’s not the most important thing, when you’re talking long term.
A woman who truly keeps your attention, makes you excited to see her, or just talk to her – every day – is one worth holding onto. An intelligent, well-spoken, witty, funny woman with killer looks, granted is hard to come by – but, who are you to settle for less than you deserve? Nobody, that’s who.
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She is comfortable in any situation.
Let’s face it, when you’re dating somebody, you’re not alone with them all the time. It’s important to be able to live a full life with them by your side. This means family events, outings with friends, double dates, movie nights on the couch…Not to mention, the activities brought forth by similar interests – which you both should have!
I’ve always used the rule of thumb that if you truly like a girl and feel comfortable bringing her to any social event and leaving her alone if you need to go talk to someone or grab a drink – then she gets major bonus points.
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She doesn’t start petty arguments.
In a healthy relationship, two people should be able to work out their differences via mature conversation and discussion. This does not mean bringing up nonsensical past issues or dwelling on small events that they’ve been emotionally harboring, waiting for the right time to unleash.
A mature woman won’t throw the past in your face or use it as ammunition against you, especially if she has already forgiven you for your mistakes.
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She encourages you.
Even the best accomplishments in life seem to lose their luster when there is nobody to share them with. Your significant other should be one of, if not THE first, people you want to tell exciting news to.
Does your girl get excited about things in your life, even if she doesn’t have personal interest in them? Does she stand behind you, and encourage you to chase your goals and dreams? If so, you have found a teammate worth holding onto.
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She’s your sunshine on a gloomy day (and every day).
Do you wake up every morning excited to talk to her? Or to kiss her on the forehead if you’re there together? Does seeing her name pop up on your phone during a rough day make you forget about all of your worries? Does being with her take you into your own world where nothing else matters?
If you said yes to any of the above, hold onto her, man.
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She puts in effort for you.
I am all about giving in relationships. Personally, I love to give and do things for my girlfriend. Seeing her happy makes me happy – and I believe if two people both feel that way in a relationship, it will be a success.
Her putting in effort doesn’t have to be much. It can be something as simple as keeping her hair or nails done to look good for you. It’s no secret that sometimes the romance wears off of longer term relationships, but you shouldn’t let it – and neither should she.
If a woman continues to do what she knows attracted you in the first place, even after she got you a long time ago, it shows she cares about keeping you around.
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You can laugh together.
Seriously, how big is this one? Simple, but so important. Life can get you down. Work, bills, obligations – your relationship shouldn’t be something on that list. Your girlfriend should also be your best friend who you can do anything with, and have fun doing it.
If they drag you down, it’s time for a change.
You can cry together.
Not everything is sunshine and rainbows. Times get tough, things get hard, and we all need a support system.
Is she there for you when you need her? Are you there for her? If your support is not reciprocated by her, then you need to find someone who understands the importance of your feelings, too.
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You have similar views for the future.
I know man, the future is way off. It’s a scary place, but it’s still there. If you’re in a solid, committed relationship, it’s important to understand where both of you see yourselves, and the relationship – going.
Does she want a ring within a year? A baby? Dude…are you ready for that? If you’re not – what makes you think that she will forget all about it and that your relationship will coast through time without it being an issue?
Compromise is key. The future of your life cannot be dictated by someone else, but it can be affected by them – and working together to find what makes you both happy in the long run, is key.

Sunday, September 8, 2013

Your emotional health matters

A note inspired by 23rd FMB Seminar held last August 26, 2013 at Philippines Evangelical Church- Pasig.

 “How is your emotional health?”
“Uhmmm..Fine. Doing well.” How about yours?”

Every one has their own stories. Every one exists for a reason and was created for a reason. Every one we meet will come out with their own baggage. Those could be packs of anger, anxiety, fear, resentment, rejection and other forms of negativity. Come to think of it, there are always the root causes of all of those. And that is our PAST experiences. As Rick Warren says on his book The Purpose Driven Life, “We are products of our past, but we don’t have to be prisoners of it.”

EXACTLY! There is no need to go through life handicapped by past experiences. To make this piece a little bit different than the usual, let me put in bullets my ideas on how to be victorious against all of your negative and damaged emotions.

Here we go…Let’s do the F.A.A.D! J

1.      Find your identity in Him.
Choose to accept and believe the Lord. Say this over and over to yourself. “I am a God-pleaser and not a man pleaser.” Your identity is no longer inclined with this world. When the world bragged about your past, lead them to the cross. Your past was crucified together with the rugged cross and you are no longer the old you. The old has gone, the new has come. You are no longer a prisoner; you’ve been set free by His blood.

2.      Ask for forgiveness.
Begin to kneel down and pray. Talk to God and ask for His forgiveness for allowing those hurtful emotions to hinder you. The next step is to deal with your offenses toward others and ask for their forgiveness. True healing demands that you address both sides: forgive yourself and forgive others. If we choose not to forgive, it will continue to hold us in bondage. There will be no room for peace and growth as long as you keep on resisting the feeling of forgiveness. Jesus Christ set us free. He forgave us of all our sins and gives us the grace and strength to lay down our hurts and trust Him to handle our situations.

3.      Always wear the shoes of others.
Be sensitive enough to feel what others feel. Dalai Lama says: “Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.” Always remember we are not the same. Because of this, we cannot avoid conflict not to arise. But if we will learn to be very careful the way we think, act and speak, conflict will be minimal. We cannot act preeminence against others knowing we got a higher degree than them or we have higher position or we are richer or prettier than them. We may excel in one way but definitely others have talents or skills that are better than us. We are created by God fairly and uniquely. And we are all not perfect! Never ever damn act as if you are.

4.      Don’t be bitter, instead be better.
Go back to my first point. Find again to where your identity belongs. Accept the fact that GOD is the only One who can change you. Never go to today’s war using your yesterday’s weapons. Past cannot be changed but you can still change the future. Be open for the changes and the renewal of yourself. Submit your ways and thoughts to Him. Let Him take control every bit that you have, from smallest to biggest element of your personality. Let go of yesterday’s troubles. Give every situation to God and when you do, do not worry about it. He’ll take care of it. Your childhood bad memories, the quarrelling of your parents, the broken promises and relationships, the darkest nightmare you’ve been through and other negative emotions can no longer be changed. But off course, time will come that you’ll be reminded, flashed back on your mind and haunted by those experiences you wished you never had. But don’t be bitter about your past. Lean unto God’s unending love, mercy and grace to make your present and future better.

Be healthy! Guard your heart with all vigilance, for from it are the sources of life. (Proverbs 4:23). Don’t be paralyzed by your emotions. Choose to guard your feelings and actions. Choose to be healthy outside but most specially inside of your inmost being. Remember, your emotional health matters.

~Achuchu! That’s all folks! Thank you for taking time to read. Lengthy and wordy?! Blame my tangled thoughts. God bless every one.

Xoxo.
ycelah_1813
9/9/13


Friday, August 23, 2013

Everything will come to an end.

I've never been so stressed and frustrated as I am now than before. Quitting was never been my option but all of sudden it is now on my first list of to do now.

Enough is enough. I had so much! I've gone so far and looking on my own perspective I have to end this so soon.

Embattled thoughts, frail emotions, double minded and resented decisions. I want to go back to where I was before. I want the ground be opened and eat me down its 6 feet distance.

I am so tired. I want to freak out, break the rules and get lost!

I’m so exasperated. I can’t feel the joy anymore. I've been to this feeling for many times. And as of this moment, I’m still standing on the same ground. Where my road may lead me, I know God is already there. He is always in control.

Thursday, August 15, 2013

Buntong hininga! :/

Hayyy..ako’y napabuntong hininga
Medyo parang may amoy pa nga
Napapaisip, napapanganga
Hihikab na hindi ang aking panga

Para kase ang labo ng lahat sa akin
Hindi ko makuha pero aking uunawain
Noo ko tuloy biglang napapakunot
Ayan na, pati nguso’y sumisimangot

Teka lang ha, ako’y bubwelo
At talagang parang hilong hilo
Sa kalahati’y sadyang kay gulo
Maano’t pa lalo na ang buo

Napapahikbi na napapangiti
Sarili’y di ko na naman mawari
Kay gulo ng mga pangyayari
Parang kaysarap mawala ng sandali

Pwede kaya na lumipad ako
Sa kaulapan ay maglalaho
Papaimbabaw sa ulap at maglalaro
Kakalimutan ako nga pala'y isang tao

Siguro, pwede naman ang ganun
Sige na libre naman sumang-ayon
Pero ang totoo naman talaga nyan
Ako’y napapabuntong hininga lang naman

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Live life. Love life











Life's too ironic. It takes sadness to know what happiness is, noise to appreciate silence and absence to value presence. - Unknown.

And so this is what life all about. Life is like a vast ocean that when you try to comprehend, it likes you’re drowning yourself to death. Don’t just exist, you have to live and love your life.

Life is always a matter of choice. You choose to be bitter, and then you’ll not see the sugar-coated part of your existence. You choose to be pessimist and then you’ll not see how bright your life could be. You choose to be lonesome and then you’ll not see the difference of black and white to variant colors. You choose to be a loser and then you’ll not know the feeling of being a victor. You choose to give up and then you’ll not know the feeling of reaching the finish line.

So, what do I am trying to contemplate? Do I sound like I’m such a life advocator? Oh well, I could be like that, and what ever you’re thinking now, I’ll just mind my business. What I’m trying to say is love your life and live your life. Probably, you could be those people who committed a wrong turn of decision. The right outcome is just an inch grasp away from your hand but suddenly you decided to turn back and change the direction of your travel. Oh sad to hear that from you! I bet you've been disappointed. You could also be those people who lost on their track thinking their time slipped away. And there’s no way anymore to get back and succeed in their respective endeavor. Oh sad to hear that from you! I bet you've been frustrated. Or maybe, you could also be those people who made a wrong move in terms of love. Your heart was broken because you are too excited to know if you’ll have a happy ending like those in the fairy tales. Oh sad to hear that from you! I bet you've been upset. Or, you could also be those people who are trying to overcome all those monsters inside of them: ego, pride, self-pity, greed, resentment, anger, inferiority and lies. Oh, too bad for you! I bet you've been depressed. DON’T WORRY! THAT’S ALL PART OF GOD’S SUPERB PLANS. HE KNOWS BEST AND HE NEVER FAILS.

Life is always a matter of chance. The fact that the sun goes up after the dawn parted is a proof that every day is always a chance for us to live again. When you arise in the morning, it is God’s way of telling us that He has given us a new privilege. And those are to be alive, to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love and to make the day count. If you committed wrong turn of decision, go back to the first step: Seek Him and His direction. If you think you’re not succeeding in your endeavor, stop and pause: God’s plans and thoughts are higher than what you perceived. Trust Him and His timing. If your heart was rejected, betrayed or hurt, re evaluate yourself: God will not put you in a situation that will not benefit you. God is teaching something and He works all things for good of those who love Him. If you are spending time, effort and money to feed those monsters in you, break those bandages: Surrender yourself to Him. He can change you and He can mold you to be the best version of yourself.

Life is an echo! Life is a voice! Life is a message! Make sure those echo are resounding with encouragement. Make sure those voice are trembling with inspiration. Make sure those message are wavering with bright ideas to live through. When you died, let the white satin buried you. When you don’t have life anymore, let the angels bring you home to where that life belong, to your real home, a place for you and that is in heaven.

Life is a beautiful gift from above. Savor it and cherish your days. Be thankful. Be merry. Be blessed! 

AUTHOR’S SIDE STORY: Medyo natagalan bago ko natapos ito! HAHA! 4:30 pm sa office ko sinimulan. At mga 9:30 pm ko na naituloy. Medyo natagalan talaga bago ko natapos ito. Nagpe facebook, nanonood ng teleserye at nanoood pa ng kung ano anong videos,may napanood pa akong marriage proposal. Finally! Natapos din. Napahaba na naman! Huhu. Daldal ko kase. Salamat po sa magbabasa. Blame my melancholic side, kaya nakapagsulat na naman ako. Kung may sablay sa grammar, haha. Gets nyo na yun. Hehe. 

~ycelah_1813
7/30/13


11:18 pm









Wednesday, June 5, 2013

STOP. LOOK. LISTEN. ;)

Hello there!! I’m back to tell you something I had in my mind. It was a long time before I had my last piece, and this time I know it will be a very long story. Just a quick share, I've been working for a school for already 5 years. Can you imagine it; I survived to work in that kind of environment which I never dreamed of. Just like Kelly Clarkson says to her song: “What doesn't kill you make you stronger?” and I guessed this is so true. I definitely agreed also with these quotes: “Where God leads you, He will provide.” “Wherever you are, God put you there for a reason.” And here I am, contemplating with all of these and having a hard battle between me and myself.

Going back to what I am sharing, we had our in-house training last week. Others might heard already the multiple intelligence theory. And because I've been here for a long period, I still don’t know what intelligence do I have a strong one. Listening to individual reports, I concluded on my mind that I had a strong intrapersonal intelligence. Why I said so? Check what the article http://www.angelfire.com/mi3/intrapersonal/  and most of these are in to what I am.

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Intrapersonal Intelligence or "The Individual" has the keen understanding of oneself. It is their desires, strengths, weaknesses and how to operate on the self-model. They focus inwards on feelings and dreams. They like working alone and following their instincts as well as pursuing their own interests and goals. They focus inward and may often be deemed as someone who marches to the beat of a different drummer. It is whom we are, what we are, and why we are that way. A strong intrapersonal intelligence can lead to self-esteem, self-enhancement, and a strength of character that can be used to solve internal problems.

Characteristics include:

  • Spends time alone meditating, reflecting, or thinking
  • Attend counseling sessions or personal seminars to learn more about myself
  • Resilient in setbacks
  • Prefer to spend time alone rather than in a large group
  • Am strong-willed and independent
  • Keep a personal journal to record events of my inner life
  • Self-employed or thinking of starting my own business
  • Self-motivated
  • Being aware of what you love and fear
The intrapersonal intelligence individual may find a career in areas such as a poet, artist, photographer, or therapist and counselor.

Now I know why when my boss is out and I am alone in the office I can accomplish lot of reports and tasks I need to submit. Now I know why I am so eager to put up my own business (a school of my own, oh c’mon why not, I am claiming it now Lord. Yes Lord Yes!). Now I know why most of time I’d rather go alone and why I so love doing blogs like these. Now I know why I keep on motivating other people through my perspective and why I keep on always looking for a bright and positive aspect in any situation. Now I know why my gift from above is “counseling”. It says all of who I am.


I am sure upon reading this; you want also to find out what intelligence you have most. This is out of pocket topic and it just came out of my mind and drag me to write about this intelligence. Haha! :D

Okay! Enough for this, let’s go back to my boxed emotions that I’d like to squeeze and share out to you. It’s already two months since I had this feeling, a feeling to be in a new place, a feeling to get and find a new environment. In other term, I want a new world! This is not a new thing for me. I always have been in this scenario once April 22 had passed away. Lately, I found myself bombarded by too much thinking, too much wishing and too much hopeful dreams. “I want that! I need to get that! I want to have my own and everything says so.” For those who might read these and are  my Facebook friends too, probably you’ll notice lately that I keep on posting status telling about God’s provision, God’s plans and God’s perfect time. Those are all actually what are really on my mind.


I've been praying so hard but then I stopped already. It’s not because I don’t believe anymore to the power of prayer, the truth is I got more and bigger faith now. Instead of keep on repeating to God what I want, I am just sending my thankful notes to Him believing He had greater plans for me and His plans are much better than I had on my mind.  A man’s heart plans his way, but the LORD directs his steps. (Prov. 16:9). I will just catch all the blessings He had already packed for me and He’ll be sending up away from Heaven above. I’ll stop now insisting what I want and go against the timeline of our Lord. I’ll remain good and still do good to reap a good harvest too.



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Thanking Him for the people He used to encourage me once again and renew the spirit I had and restore the passion for my future. I've been reminded by Him through people around me. A text message last night saying: “Hay naku, wag mo na gawin yan. Just wait for God’s perfect time.” Another chat message from different person saying: “Wag ka, ano ka ba? Yaan mo na lang. Kaya mo yan.” Those are petty conversations but I see God is speaking through those words. He is talking to me and I believed He will never leave me nor forsake me. There are other people there who had more and bigger problems than I had. There are even others who are surviving against sickness, would I not consider myself far more blessed than they are. And there are also other who even wishing they had the life I have.


I’ll stop now Lord. Forgive me if I've wanted an easy life without experiencing a hard one. Forgive me if I want to see a rainbow without having a bad rain first. Forgive me if I've been complaining because I had hard paths without realizing you gave me tough shoes. Forgive me if I've been blinded by too much eagerness to get more without even seeing I had lot in front of me. Forgive me if I've been bragging about those unanswered prayers without thanking those unprayed answers.



I know it will still be a long journey of catching stars along the dark night, counting sheep and talking to the Shepherd too, wandering what will happen next and chasing the wind whirl beneath the autumn trees. I admit I am weak but in my weakness, God’s strength will be boasted. I admit I cried a lot but from those tears, laughter will arise more brighter than it was before. I admit I lost a lot of battle but therein I've been shielded by Lord’s armor. I admit I committed many decisions that are not good enough, but within those every failures, I learned and I am changed. So here I am again, standing firm to my faith and still holding unto God’s promises that I am highly favored and I am forever blessed child of God. Thank You my King.


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ycelah_1813
6/6/13

Saturday, April 20, 2013

PALAISIPAN



Oh heto ka na naman, kaharap na naman kita. Nagmamadali na pumindot sa mga letra upang mailabas ang mga pakiwari at saloobin.

Duguan ka ba? Nakita ko! Andyan oh. Naramdaman kita. Nanghihina ka. Ayos lang yan. Ganyan talaga ang buhay. Minsan di maunawaan. Pero ang mahalaga buhay ka pa din. Malakas ka at kaya mo yan.

Anong nangyari? Bakit iyak tawa ka dyan? Ganyan naman talaga ang buhay e.

Sige lang. Maano't ano ay lilipas din yan. Kilala kita. Mapagpanggap ka e. Dinadaan mo sa lakas ng halakhak at mapungay mong mga mata. Sinasabi ko na nga ba e. May problema ka no. Eh ano pa bang bago? Ang malakas na sundalo, lage sumusuong sa digmaan. Full-armored ka naman kase lage. Lage mo kasama ang sundalo ng lahat ng sundalo, ang hari ng mga hari. San ka pa?! Di ba?

Pagpatuloy mo lang yan. Feeling mo inaapi ka. Hindi ah. Lahat ng nangyayare sa buhay mo, may dahilan. Sa bawat hikbi, may panyo. Sa bawat pagkadarapa, may band-aid. Sa bawat unos, may payong. HAHA! May pagkapilosopo pa? Pinapatawa lang kita. Ikaw naman.

So paano? Iwan muna kita. 

Alam ko kakausapin mo ulit ako sa mga darating pang araw! Ikaw pa. Kasannga mo ako e.

Ngiti na.

"And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not."

Galatians 6:9

 ycelah_1813
4/20/13

Sunday, April 7, 2013

Naisip lang namin...

April 06, 2013 marked another memorable day for me.

Let me share to you what made this day so extraordinary. >:)

1. SAVE OUR BELLE Fun Run. It's my first time ever to do a fun run! And this is so special because it's a run for a cause: to save a child's life and I'm so happy my friends and co-LAGS members joined me. Un totoo? 1k ba ycelah o 3k ang sinalihan mo? Un totoo? Tumakbo ka ba o naglakad? HAHA. Pero I really enjoyed kahit hindi ko kinareer. Hindi tuloy ako nanalo ng peanut butter at mug! :)



2. Ang unplanned na gala ang natutuloy talaga. Hanap agad na magagalaan along the vicinity. Ika nga eh   grabbed the opportunity since asa Laguna area na kami. First choice: ECOPARK? Wow ha! Ang lapet ng QC sa Laguna. Hehe. Second choice: TAGAYTAY? Eh syempre third home ko na ang tagaytay, chill lang ako kung matutuloy o hindi. Third choice: BASAGAN DAW NG PINGGAN NEAR UPLB. Ang layo, this one will took 1 hour of travel from Binan. Fourth Choice: CALAMBA, sa BAHAY daw ni RIZAL. Pre-historic area lang ang peg. Haha. FINALLY! Final Choice: NUVALI. Wise choice kase malapet lang and walang entrance fee.


3.May Pizza na ngaun sa Kenny Rogers. Oh well, unconsciously I made a big blooper. And what makes it more funny! Saka ko lang narealize na mali ang na tag ko na place sa FB status update ko. Instead na Shakeys, Kenny ang nalagay ko na location! Sobra tawa ko dito. As in! Asa Razon's na kame saka ko narealize na sa Shakeys nga pla kame kumain. Kaya ang malaking tanong, kelan pa nagkaron ng pizza sa Kenny?! Siguro nun oras din lang na yun! Specially made for me. HAHA. :D



3. Ang mga kakaibang kame. Ang pumara ng tricycle sa gitna ng high-way. Ang maglakad sa pathway na madaming talahib. Ang alamin kung paano ginagawa ang man made na ilog. Ang mang trip sa driver ng nuvali na service. Ang iconclude na may mga birds sa bird sanctuary. Ang ma amaze sa mga building at sa boat riding. Ang iimagine ang sinasakyan tricycle ay mababangga, ano at paano ang strategy gagawin para wag maipit ng babanggang sasakyan. Ang pag-usapan ang eleksyon, pulitiko, trapo, buwaya sa gobyerno at mga mamamayang Pilipino. Ang utusan bumili ang driver ng van ng mineral water. At syempre ang walang kamatayan picture taking. BOW to us. hehehe.




On top of this, I found joy in every piece of the pavements we saw and in every rides and walks we made. I felt the blessing of life, friends and opportunity to lend a help to others. I thank God for giving me a circle of friends who are GOD fearing and easy to go along with. I must admit I am not perfect person. I have cover ups and cover downs. I have tantrums and petty arrogance acts. But still, GOD is giving me bunch and bunch of good friends. So as they touched my life,I hope I did the same thing to them too.

As I end this note, I want to offer also a short prayer for Baby Ananiah Isabelle Asilo Espeleta. She is a baby of my previous officemate. A baby diagnosed with Biliary Atresia and needs to undergo a 4 million operation. May this be your prayer too as you ended reading this craft. Please also include  her and her family in your prayers. :)

"Oh, Heavenly Father. First and foremost. I'd like to thank You for the gift of life you've given to Baby Belle. We believe, You have greater purpose of bringing her here at Earth. It's for us to open our hearts and hands to help to save her life. We know, You are the God of all the possibilities. Nothing will be big and hard for us if we  will fully give our hope and faith to You. You are the God who provides and the God who heals. We believe she has healed already by the stripes and wounds that Jesus got from the Calvary. We believe the financial and physical operation will be successful in the name of Your Son, Jesus Christ. Amen."

ycelah_1813
4-7-13
12:15 am





Tuesday, April 2, 2013

ORIGAMI



Masyado tayo nagpapataasan ng ihi?!?  Nagpapaligsahan sa pagpapalitan ng maaanghang at mabulaklak na salita.

Hindi na tayo mga bata para maglaro ng pahabaan o patagalan. Pahabaan ng pag-iinarte o patagalan ng paghawak sa pride?!!

Gusto ko magpakalayo layo! Umakyat ng bundok! Sumigaw sa tuktok. Magbasag ng plato. Pumunta sa gym at sumuntok ng sumuntok sa punching bag! Gusto ko maglaho muna.

Madami tumatakbo sa isip ko! Gusto ko lang magbulalas ng saloobin ko. Wala ako matakbuhan kaya ikaw ang nilapitan ko: titik, ideya, obra likha ng mapanlinlang na emosyon.

Napapagod na ako. Gusto ko sumuko na! Mahimlay at hayaan dalhin ng lalim ng lupa sa kaibutaran ng walang hanggang kapayapaan.

Nakakapanghina na makipagpaligsahan sa sarili. To beat the old you and be a better version of yourself. Ang dami pang kailangan baguhin. Ang dami pang dapat gawin.

Nakakatakot kung saan ako dadalhin ng mga sinasabi ko. Kung saan ako ipapadpad ng pagtakbo ng aking imahinasyon.

Basta ang alam ko!
Ganito ako.
Ganyan ka.
Tao tayo. Nagkakamali. Nakakasakit. Natututo.

Ikaw na Ama ang bahala sa akin at sa mga darating pang mga araw. Mahina ako at walang kakayahan! Palyado madalas ang mga desisyon kaya hawakan Mo ang palad ko. Sabayan Mo ako sa paghakbang. Eto ang sagwan ko. Sa Iyong kumpas ako’y susunod.


#impediment #cascade #vague #justread

ycelah_1813
april 04,2013
2:57 pm










Wednesday, March 27, 2013

A journey starting at forever and ending at never! :)


AUTHOR’S DISCLAIMER:  Others might find this piece so revealing and indulging my private life. Others will find this piece exaggerating or non sense, that’s alright.  I just want to share the half of my being and the complexity of my humanity.

“The love that came back is really the love that never went away…”

"A good-bye is never painful unless you’re never going to say hello again. Goodbyes are not forever. Goodbyes are not the end. They simply mean I’ll miss you until we meet again."

"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning. But anyone can start again and make a wonderful ending." 

sorry koya! nasama ka tuloy sa pag-eemote ko.:)
Suddenly the ended story turned out its pages into a new chapter. Suddenly all the memories flashed back and brought me to a sanctuary where I want to chant all what’s going on with my mind and my heart. I found this love story a never ending one and a weirdest of all.

PS: I’ll make the story complicated for my readers to get clueless more! HAHA. :”>

It was a long journey since year of 2007 when I first met this frail boy in front of our house. Me, acting as if I am one of the boys (because I hate being like a girl during those time, I don’t brush my hair, I don’t wear a lipstick, I only wear skirts when I go to church). My mom asked me to serve him a cup of “barakong kape” while my favorite dog is already playing with his hands. The journey never stopped and just like a common “getting to know scenarios”, my nokia 3315,my guitar and the roof of our house and the pavement of my Mother church witnessed everything and anything how the friendship turned to a romantic one.

I could be the weirdest girl but I do have checklists of a guy before I enter to a relationship and to those who know him more, kayo na magsabi kung pumasok sya sa criteria ko! Hehe.

  1. From a far away land- Un tipong pwede ko pagbakasyunan ang probinsya nila. Dora the Explorer kase ih! J
  2. Either a sport enthusiast or music minded or dancer o kahit ano basta may talent- Eh kase frustrated ako na singer. Eh kase I love being in sport or any outdoor activities. Eh kase wala ako talent kaya I eye someone who has.
  3. I won’t go in a relationship unless graduate na ako ng college- Eh kase kilala ko sarili ko pag nagmahal. I have a fear that when I fell inlove while studying eh hindi ko matapos pag-aaral ko. I don’t want to disappoint my family.
  4. I’m not after the look, I’m after the heart. – Un tipong super love nya ang family nya. Un tipong uunahin nya lage needs ng family nya before his own need. I believed when a guy love his family so much, no doubt when he build his own family, he’ll love it that much too.
  5. Born Again Christian (either a Pastor or kung hindi man e yun level of maturity serving the Lord is to the highest level na)- Last in the list but my top of what I prayed for. I know people around me will brag about this one, but I guessed it’s a calling also. I want to see myself a professional woman serving God and serving His people. I prayed for a guy who will bring me more closely to God than to his self.

March 2008, HAHA! chubby ng face ko.

The moment when I felt there must be something and my heart might be beating abnormally, I decided to kneel down to God and ask what He wants. I become a woman of prayers. I asked for God’s wisdom specially I don’t know anything when it comes to handling a relationship. Yah! I must admit, I am great in giving advice on a bf/gf relationship but when it comes to my own, there’s a big question mark and but’s and if’s. I don’t mind if he did the same too or how eager he prayed for, that’s none of my business anymore. As long as God intercedes and works on, I believed everything is on His plan.

Sweetness has always a bitter side. The story ended but the bond is still there. We broke up for almost 3 years but we agreed to be best friends. I must say the “getting to know scenarios” has just started during that rainy month of June 2010. Say to me I’m so over reacting but as the rain pours on my umbrella, the tears are swiftly rolling on my cheeks. HAHA! It’s simply because I am forcing myself to let go a man that I still love just because God wants to teach us something. I have to convince myself that I must be happy because at least we’re best friends, we are freer to be open to each other, share any burdens, joy, frustration, prayer requests, success and failures. But that was the only one side of a coin when you flip it. That thing sucks me. I felt the pain more knowing we’re just friends. No cuddle up, no hugs, no surprises, no I love you and definitely no more us on a happily ending ever as those fairytale has. Within that long span of time, we are texting, we are calling, we are seeing each other often but I can feel there is a big difference. I ran to him every time I want to tell work related stories or family related thingies. He does the same thing to me! What makes me proud of him is when he asked me to do his speech for his graduation. I am so happy during that time while I’m with her sister and mother as an audience but still I have a half hearted knowing we are just best friends. I didn't go to any relationship because I want to fall inlove when I am ready not when I am lonely and I do prayed also that when I enter into a new relationship, the next man I will fall for will be the one who will bring me to altar. Yes, he didn't go into a relationship too, but there are lot of stories on his search to what his heart has and to whom his heart is for. And all those stories no matter how hard I tried to throw up or burry down will always be a part of this journey. And to my dear and trusted friends who patiently listened to me every time I am so weak to carry alone those pain, frustration and doubt, THANK YOU. You know who you are guys. XOXO. I won’t have any regrets; I won’t blame myself for doing crazy things because of love for I know those are all part of tuning up by God. Those are part of preparing me to be a better me. I learned a lot and indeed all things work together for those who love Him (Romans 8:28).

Like a normal break up’s, I've been through a moving on experience. I have to spread out my zone and find more friends to whom I can spend time and kill the moments that I felt so lonely and broken. I long more to be in God’s presence where I am free and relax to release all the sorrow I have. I met guys and both of them have any of the given criteria. But I don’t consider them as suitors because when I met them, I know my heart is still pre-occupied. That was only July 2012 when my mind and heart worked as one. When I fully surrendered every bits of brokenness to the Creator of my heart but the best ever decision I made was to surrender his heart also not to any women out there but only to God. I am pretty sure that time I am ready to fall in love to any of those men I met or I will still meet on my search of a happy love story. 
my devotional/diary/crying pad! HAHA. >:)

But suddenly things changed. The two guys disappeared like bubbles. I was so surprised when he admitted to me that the moment when I decided to give up on him was also the moment when he realized that I am the one. I can barely remember how our conversation on month of August 2012 went on. He even asked for a big APOLOGY and started to rattle all the secret stories he has in his heart on that day. "I never stopped loving you. All the waiting moments, all the surprises and dates we shared though we broke up. I did it all because I still love you." He whispered those words gently into my ears that frozen me and found myself crying.  What sticks to my mind was his answer to my question: “Paano kung wala na yung love? Paano kung ayoko na?” And he shared the verse from 1 Corinthian 13:4a,7-8.


personalized cover photo! isa sa paborito kong gawen. :)
And here we go again, March 2013 we went back again to the beginning, 60 months after I first said yes to him as my boyfriend. We ought to realize why we know how to love. That is because God first loved us. And we are building again all the good and bad memories ripped away by the past. We are dreaming again for the future. We are struggling again to bring a relationship that will be a blessing and an inspiration to others but most especially pleasing to God. We are praying to maintain this relationship that He is the third party, a relationship that He is the driver of a journey to infinity and beyond. We have plans, we yielded for it yet we believed still to HIS will. We never know what tomorrow may bring. If this love will be till eternity, only God knows and to Him we entrust everything. More prayers! More work outs! More steps out of faith! And this will going to be a journey starting at forever and ending at never in God’s will and help.



one of those vanity shots! :)

antoooooooooook naaaa!
#ycelah_1813
march 27, 2013
2:10 am